Learn to Fly

I flew United for the first time in years, during my travel back east. I spent the last three hours of a six-hour flight essentially trying not to waste away, since United is unable even to spring for a measly bag of peanuts or pretzels. I had briefly entertained purchasing food in Philly to eat when the inevitable hunger struck, but opted instead to fit in one last binge on Dunkin' Donuts. It was a really excellent idea at the time. 

So instead, I opted to distract myself with my surroundings. 

Unfortunately, I had an aisle seat, which means I was in prime location to overhear the uncomfortably garrulous passenger sitting across from me. He spent portions of take-off rambling on about how people bow their heads to avoid getting their necks snapped during plane crashes. Not okay, dude. Thankfully, once we were up in the air, I was able to throw on my headphones and effectively muffle this guy's ramblings. 

The in-flight entertainment started up pretty early; the movie they played was How Do You Know. Not even Paul Rudd could save this film for me, so I found myself dozing off about 25 minutes into the movie, despite having downed 20 oz. of coffee about an hour before. 

I really liked the constant stream of in-flight entertainment, though. I've never watched The Simpsons in my life before, nor do I care to, but I liked that they played hours of television and movies to keep passengers entertained. Some of the other shows included How I Met Your Mother, Frasier, and, my personal favorite, Cash Cab—the latter of which featured a contestant who was a dead-ringer for Maurice, of Beauty and the Beast fame. 

I spent most of my flight reading (The Perks of Being A Wallflower, for those who care) or listening to my iPod as I attempted to fall asleep. And barring my annoying aislemate (yes, I just created that word), the plane ride was pretty peaceful. I flew at night, which was helpful in creating a nice cozy environment in which to sleep, or at least to rest. 

So really, the only buzz kill was the lack of sustenance. I toyed briefly with purchasing one of those in-flight meals that probably taste a little stale, but by the time they got to my row (and I was only in 20), there was hardly anything left. 

Luckily, SFO is not one of those airports that shuts down at night (Oakland, I'm looking at you), so I was able to pick up a quick bite to eat at one of the coffee shops near the gate, once we'd landed and gotten off the plane. 

Overall, United wasn't terrible—the attendants were nice enough, and they had nonstop entertainment. But Southwest still wins, because I always think with my stomach first.